Cambridge Folk Festival Heroes

h a new ensemble that might make it over to tour in the UK and could end up at our very own Cambridge Folk Festival. Cambridge hotels I’m sure don’t care, because being an ostensible Canadian folk legend doesn’t really rate over here, unless you’re Leonard Cohen, which nobody is, not even him anymore. You know why? You know what Canadians are like?

They’re mild, they’ll say, but it’s not the case. They wear a hollowed out shell of mildness but on the inside there’s a mess of gnashing termites! Yeah. And you know what Bill Burne is like, really? He’s a big jerk. He rips off his bandmates for thousands of dollars and that’s why he’s always got some new ensemble every couple of years. He’s a raging addict, addicted mostly to himself, though he ran out of bushwhacking stories years ago and now just makes you uncomfortable when he starts another story, uninvited mind, of this or that old girl he’s altered. If you didn’t know anything about him, maybe you’d think he was like a Canadian Bob Dylan, but do you even know what Bob Dylan is like?! He’s really bad news, he’s not friendly at all.

Hotels in Cambridge might sell a few more rooms when he’s in town but they would balk if they had to put him up for a night. Bob Dylan would terrorize Cambridge hotels; hotels in Cambridge don’t have enough true American grit to contain and properly cordon off a snarling post-prophet. He still smashes TVs, did you know? He has a steady line of young women leading up to his room and one by one they all leave, crying and ruined. That’s what your folk heroes are like people; there isn’t anything pleasant about them, though they are transparent in their reflections of our souls. It is our fault if we misinterpret them.

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March 24, 2011 | Author: | Posted in Destination Tips

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