Branching Out at the Venice Biennial

Planning on attending the Venice Biennial this year, root for your favorite artists somewhere from high up in the stands, make all kinds of screaming commotion every time a news camera wanders by? Surprised at all the suits and ties and black gowns? Wondering why there isn’t a deluge of merch littering the floors of the pavilions? Wondering why indeed they call this the ‘Olympics of the Arts’ when it doesn’t in fact resemble the Olympics at all?

Feeling out of place, you grunting Nationalist you; got your Venice hotel room booked two years early because you were sure anything that resembles the Olympics will actually resemble the Olympics? Did it surprise you when the staff of the Venice hotel didn’t know what you were talking about and said they had plenty of vacancy, which is fortunate, because the room you booked two years ago got rebooked some two weeks ago by neglect or accident, though now you are left with a room with no view of the water, which you had originally imagined impossible? Are you bored of the arts after one day, don’t even know who you’re rooting for?

Are you dreadfully out of place, here at the big lie of the Venice Biennial? Then go to Puerto Rico, dear chum, where you’ll belong, and wait there for the commonwealth games. The Puerto Rico hotels are standing by indefinitely. It was a wrong assumption that the arts were as accessible and vigorously enjoyable as sports, but good try anyway bud, thanks for coming out, no one but you would have done it, but you gave it a shot, and that’s worth something—a few grand at least. If you explain yourself and your troubles, hotels in Puerto Rico may offer you a free upgrade. Boy howdy pard, that’s just what you were looking for!

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March 21, 2011 | Author: | Posted in Destination Tips


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